POORHIM

Poorhim is the story of  King AchaSchviesie, and his battle to make sure that the Kingdom of Blackburn remained  a sanctuary for the sane and benevolent.

In the year 8146 King  Aka Schviesie ruled over the land of  Blackburn with a fair and tolerant hand. The feudal population in the  “apartments” worked hard to seek King AkaSchviesie’s  admiration. The King allowed  his subjects to use the washer/dryer, and to park their automobiles in the royal parking lot, at the rear  of the castle.

Although most of King AkaSchviesie’s subjects paid homage to him one subject, Greg, decided he would taunt the King by slamming doors, and worshipping the Bush Tribe.

This disregard for the laws of Blackburn angered King AkaSchviesie. Each mention of the Bush Tribe by Greg angered the King more and more. One day while the  King was visiting his  princely brothers Hershel and Chiam, who were very kind hearted to the King, but occasionally teased him , and gave him tests he could not fathom, the King complained of Greg.

“He is an abomination to the Kingdom of Blackburn . Greg is a Bushite. And I can not tolerate these Bush people. In the middle of the day and night he makes these banging sounds with his doors. He digs deep into the earth, and plants herb gardens without my royal decree. Greg is a nuisance and a blight on the land. And I want him to be ousted from the kingdom, forthwith.”

“Does he pay his shekels to the kingdom?” asked Hershel.

“Well,” said King AkaSchviesie after a long exasperated pause. “Yes. He pays his tribute to me. But he is an irritant. He orders the royal gardener around.  He parks his beat up chariot  on the street. Greg is a danger to the Kingdom og Blackburn ”

Chaim, the knowledgeable brother said “ But, King AkaSchviesie, if you throw out Greg,then you will be missing your needed scheckels.”

King AkaSchviese said “ Scheckels? I spend them like water that runs from the garden hose on the front lawn. I have spent so many scheckels that I have lost count. It’s all because of that bastard Greg. I get so upset that I must spend the scheckels in order to cover up my frustration. It’s all Greg’s fault. All his fault. All his fault.”

“You already said that” chimed in Chaim. “In fact you said it 3 times. You can not blame Greg for everything.”

“Well” Said King AkaSchviesie, “maybe I’ll just move to the Royal guesthouse. By the way. Where is the Royal Gusthouse?”

The two brothers shrugged their shoulders simultaneously. “We don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”, retorted the King.

“You can always live in your Carolla Chariot. It has everything you need. “

The King appeared somewhat frustrated. “What should I doe about Greg?”

A booming voice suddenly came from on high. It was the voice of Walt Disney.

“Chicken! Kentucky Fried Chicken!” Said the voice.

The King said “ I already tried that. It didn’t work!”

The two brothers told King AkaSchvisesie that he should just accept Greg as a fact of life and go on.

The King reached for his book. It was tabulated for joke comebacks. He quickly turned to a section, and said those magical, universal words…”Oh Well”

The world suddenly shifted orbit for the King. The “Oh Well Era” had begun.

From then on the “Oh well” philosophy covered the Kingdom of Blackburn , and was well…temporarily.

King AkaSchviese on His Throne